[Instructors: Download PDFs of the exercise and proposed solutions at the end of the post.]

Eliminate wordiness in the following sentences. Look for long lead-ins, redundancies, clichés, noun conversions, needless repetition, and other wordy constructions.

1. This is to inform you that a great percentage of employees are of the opinion that it is preferable to save their money in the event that they may want to retire early.
2. The vice president solicited the directors for their input regarding the utilization of video conferencing.
3. In spite of the fact that it’s a longer commute, I made the decision to take them up on the job they offered me.
4. The boss said she would return in a short time and deal with the problem in production.
5. The new outlet that will sell sporting goods will be built in close proximity to three major routes of transportation.
6. It is my intention to make a request for a promotion.
7. There have been some complaints on the part of customers who made the statements that their orders were sent to wrong addresses.
8. We have reached the conclusion that because the CEO failed to plan in advance for the price change, the company lost in excess of $3.5 million.
9. Before making a choice of the proposed location for the new offices, we must make an economic assessment of the advantages of a variety of sites available.
10. If you are able to complete this project ahead of schedule, please advise me at your earliest convenience.
11. We do not have the expectation of hiring any new staff members in the foreseeable future.
12. He said that he had made an application to the board in January for a sufficient amount of funds to make a purchase of three tablets.

Revising for Conciseness Exercise

Revise for Conciseness Solutions