[Instructors: Downloadable PDFs of this exercise and a separate key can be found at the end of this post.]
Plodding through wordy phrasing discourages readers. To write more concise prose, consider these three revision techniques.
1. Slash vague expressions. Avoid using too many words when fewer can do the job.
due to the fact that because
in addition to the above also
despite the fact that although
2. Eliminate long lead-ins. Get to the point rather than begin with an unnecessary phrase.
We are writing to inform you that We have accepted your application.
3. Avoid wordy there is/are and it/was Whenever possible, begin with the true subject of the sentence rather than using the wordy There is/are or It is/was constructions.
There was An Instagram influencer who promoted the new product.
Your Task: Edit the sentences below to eliminate unnecessary words.
- It was not until they received the package that they realized they had ordered the wrong part.
- At this point in time, we are unable to change your order.
- It is when people use WiFi in public locations that many are hacked.
- You may be interested to know that you can easily create a profile to reuse our website in the future.
- There were so many applications that the HR department was unable to look at them all.
- In the event that our first choice is unable to take the position, we will have to interview more candidates.
- It is a good idea to reread all important messages you write to your boss before sending them.
- We are sending this message to advise all employees to be careful before opening any e-mail attachments in order to avoid infecting devices with malware.
- It was George Washington who once said, “Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.”
- In the situation in which a course is overenrolled, the instructor may have to admit more than the approved number of students.
Intended for classroom use only–posting or wide distribution with authors’ permission only (c) The Guffey Team, 2024