[Instructors: You may download the exercise and our suggested solutions using the link at the end of the post.]

As writers, we communicate with our readers, but if they are put off by the verbiage we choose, we won’t get the job done. Research shows that the wording in some e-mails erodes trust and may even affect employee well-being because some messages can sound passive-aggressive.

[ Instructors: Download a PDF of the exercise and the revised statements below. We’ve also created an instructor tip sheet to use prior to giving students the exercise.]

Successful résumés contain vivid statements tailored to the advertised position. Experts advise repeating nouns from the job description and using strong action verbs to create effective bullet points that are both parallel and omit the first-person “I.”

Improve the examples below by (a) choosing varied, vivid action verbs to begin each statement and (b) enhancing each statement by providing specifics to illustrate how and/or why the action was important.

EXAMPLE

Weak: Designed engaging materials to support key initiatives

Improved: Designed and produced print and digital materials for three campus campaigns, increasing event participation by 40%

 

[Instructors: Download PDFs of the exercise and suggested solutions at the bottom of the post.]

Good writers know that readers prefer plain, easily understandable language and aim for language that is:

clear—avoids jargon and overly complex construction

concise—uses fewer words to get the message across

direct —gets to the point by omitting wordiness

Your task: Rewrite the sentences below[1] to eliminate overused buzzwords and unnecessarily complex phrasing.